just procrastinating

Friday, February 24, 2006

Mr. Belvedere
I woke up this morning with the theme of "Mr. Belvedere" playing in my head(?), which actually is a step up from that Kelly Clarkson song that's been getting a lot of unsolicited airplay in there. I think Leon Redbone actually did that one. Anyway that got me to thinking of that Saturday Night Live skit, "The Guy Who Plays Mr. Belvedere Fan Club". Here is a transcript of it. It may be one that you have to see to get because it doesn't read as funny as it played.

Here's the part I was thinking of, where they are going through an exercise that helps them clear up the line between fantasy and reality in the way they interact with the guy who plays Mr. Belvedere:

Cheryl: Okay. I should want to shake hands with Mr. Belvedere, I shouldn't want to grab a lock of his hair.

Mr. Chairman: That's good, Cheryl. And, even though it would be really neat to have a lock of his hair, we know that's not right. Someone else?

Mike: Yeah. Okay. I should want to send him a fan letter telling him how good he was in the episode where he teaches everyone how to cook, but I shouldn't want to type the letter on a death certificate.

Mr. Chairman: Yes! But, then, you learned that one the hard way, huh? Okay, so let's keep going. Come on.

Adam: I should like watching "Mr. Belvedere" a lot, but I shouldn't have to masturbate at the end of every episode.

Mr. Chairman: That's right. That is right. Discipline. Next?

Melanie: Uh, yeah! I should want to cook Brocktoon a simple dinner if he truly accepts the offer, but not if I sense that he accepts it telepathically.

Mr. Chairman: Yes, okay.. but let's keep the exercise in the form of "should" and "shouldn't", okay? Next?

Phil: I should want to cook him a simple meal, but I shouldn't want to cut into him, to tear the flesh, to wear the flesh, to be born unto new worlds where his flesh becomes my key.

Mr. Chairman: [ considering ] Good.

Doug: I got one. I should want to say hi to him nicely, I shouldn't want to keep him in a big jar in my basement.

Mr. Chairman: Alright, Doug, that's great, we understand that now. Go on, though. Why shouldn't you put him in a big jar in your basement?

Doug: Because.. his breath would fog up the glass, and I wouldn't be able to see him..?

Mr. Chairman: Well, now, there is that, but..

By the way that guy who played Mr. Belvedere, Christopher Hewitt, died 5 years ago.

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